It’s All In How You Say It

You and your spouse have decided to divorce. You have separated but are trying to work together to negotiate the terms of your divorce before you turn to lawyers. Though you may have your emotions under control enough to draft a polite email, the tone of such communications can quickly get out of hand. Here are a few tips to help you keep your divorce emails, letters, and calls professional and productive:

Try to keep your communications purposeful. Need to email your spouse to change a drop off time? Don’t use it as a chance to clarify details in the separation agreement, too. Also, even if you call to discuss the divorce, try to put the information your spouse may need in writing. Send him or her an email or letter after the phone call to make sure you both have the information in hand. This will be especially important if you plan to mediate your divorce. A lot of information must be exchanged and reviewed for mediation to be successful, and the process will be more efficient if you make sure your spouse has this information in hard copy.

Never argue over details in front of your child on the phone. This can be very harmful to him or her. If you call to discuss the divorce, try to do so when your child is in school or someone else’s care. No need to make every email a chance to explore what went wrong in the marriage. This is a common mistake, but it can compromise the efficiency of your divorce. Stick to what is necessary, and keep any personal comments in a divorce email to a minimum. If you want to go deeper into why the marriage ended, keep these communications separate from the divorce itself. Remember, a divorce is a legal action; it ends a legal relationship. It isn’t about your personal relationship or your partnership per se.

When in person, keep the same tips in mind. There is a time and a place for every kind of communication. You will be talking to your spouse a lot about the divorce, especially if you are handling it on your own. To avoid the pitfalls the DIY divorce, conduct yourselves as you would with your lawyers. Be respectful of each other’s time, and respond to emails and letters promptly.

If you have questions about how to have a painless divorce, Mediation Advantage Services can assist you. Experienced in divorce mediation, Law Office of Polly Tatum can help you and your spouse efficiently mediate your divorce. Based in historic Worcester with a satellite office in Northboro, MA, our firm serves all cities and towns throughout Massachusetts and Worcester County including, Auburn, Paxton, Leicester, Sutton, Grafton, Shrewsbury, Westboro, Northboro, Southboro, Holden, Sterling, Princeton, Worcester, Charlton, Millbury, Dudley, Spencer, Brookfield, Sudbury, Natick, Framingham, Hopkinton, Milford, Blackstone, Leominster, Fitchburg, Acton, Jefferson, Barre, Oakham, Cambridge, Newton, Marlboro, Lancaster, Bolton, and Hudson. Call our office at (508) 466-4734, fill out our online form, or email us at today to schedule your Complimentary Mediation Success Planning Session. You can also sign up for our eNewsletter or download our free e-book for more information regarding divorce in Massachusetts.